A few months ago I was to the best of my abilities supporting a friend, who was going through a break-up. A few years ago she had been of great support to me when I was in a similar situation. I hadn’t expected to get triggered…
“But you don’t need anyone. You are happy by yourself”, she suddenly said during one of the conversations we had at that time.
“I didn’t incarnate to walk alone”, she added.
My body was shivering and my face probably turned pale. She had touched on a sensitive spot. After the break-up I did grief and heal, and over the course of time I healed more and more. Working through layer after layer. I had relatively soon reached the point that I could face the Divine and vow that no matter what, I will be of service in the best way possible and I have since been living up to it.
I too didn’t incarnate to walk my path alone. While I do not need someone else to make me happy, there are tasks that I took on with my twin flame. I won’t be able to fulfil them alone.
At least I can do whatever is within my own power. I do not wish to ‘waste’ this lifetime by hanging on to emotions that don’t serve me or others. I wish to make a difference, shine my light, put a smile on someone’s face and assist people on their path of healing.
There are no mistakes, just different outcomes, and I am grateful for all the experiences, places, people and blessings that came onto my path these past few years.
Yesterday, listening to Fia’s beautiful song The Art of Letting Go, I was out of the blue hit by a burst of anger. Anger for the fact that he moved on with his life. Anger for all the questions that were never answered. Anger because he turned his back on the path we had chosen to walk together…
I lost my love. Not to death, but to cultural beliefs and the fear of stepping out of the comfort zone. He doesn’t realize that the experiences he tries to avoid are only tests; chances to break through.
It is not my task to judge the choices he makes. It is my task to walk my path and to constantly work on becoming the next best version of myself. We are living in a time where everything that needs to be healed shows itself. Finally, after almost three years, anger had made itself seen.
I sat with it for a few hours. Feeling it. Eating an entire bar of chocolate. And taking my responsibility as a healer, releasing the emotions that had surfaced from the depths of my being, creating room for more light to flow in.